The Newspaper

Prelim Oral!!!!! Jun Lei changed place and created 'havoc' at That Corner Of The Class. Then he wrote this laughable newspaper, if you read and did not laugh there was a faulty lightbulb in your head.
Jun Lei-Me-Woo Hian-Me-Lorraine-Zi Jie-Megan-Winnie-Wisia-Darren-Ms Tan. And that was the end of the food chain. Darren told the teacher and all the 'passers' may be getting killed by The Form Teacher.
Anyway, the articles are:
Murderer of Pencil Cases
Your Mother loves you.
Benny Lava
Err, something which I don't know about article
The Legend of Bruce Lee

Hmm, the funny ones are the 1st and 3rd.
1) One night at 10.21pm, in Jun Lei's dream, Osama bombed his pencil case and thousands of eraser dust died, Jun Lei was very sad...
2) Benny Lava is a loony bun, most of them like the bun, sells DNA, and loves to defecate on oliver...